It’s really hard to hide the disdain this pundit has for the Hollywood Film Awards. There may be no less authentic awards ceremony during awards season. Honestly, it’s pretty much pointless and just an exercise for potential nominees to practice their speeches and red carpet talking points. Damn you Kanye West for giving the event any sort of relevancy.

West was the surprise presenter for honoree “12 Years a Slave” helmer Steve McQueen. It doesn’t matter what award McQueen won (seriously, no one remembers the exact award anyone wins there), because West’s appearance is more about consumers than courting Oscar voters. West’s endorsement for “12 Years a Slave” will assist Fox Searchlight’s mission to expand the critically acclaimed drama to the mainstream and, especially, African-American moviegoers. It was a superb PR move as the film starts to expand over the next few weeks.

That being said, the rest of the night? Well, heck, this prognosticator is still in England and can tell you it barely registered a ripple in awards land. Yes, we realize writing about it only exacerbates the Hollywood Film Awards profile, but then again it allows us to have a bit more fun than usual.

Click on the story gallery and join us as we wonder, along with the stars and presenters, why were they at the Hollywood Film Awards in the first place?